I’ve had to figure it out. Where do I stand? Who am I? What am I willing to negotiate, and what is simply intolerable? It has to be figured out.
I have found that each and every stand that one takes, builds. It builds boundaries that keep things out, as well as in. It grants permission to people and things regarding how far they can go with you, and what they are allowed to take from you. It can keep your underwear up, or it can keep them coming off person after person. The stand that you take has the power to identify you. Who do you want to be?
Where do you stand? A better question would be who knows where you stand? Is there evidence of it in your life, or how you treat yourself? Are the waters so muddied that one can’t tell if you like liver, or hate it? Your mouth says one thing and your behavior does another. Do you match?
My divorce has had me taking a step back to figure out where I stand. I knew that I stood for faithfulness as a married woman, but as a single woman I began to embrace a different definition of faithfulness. There really is only one definition, but you know how we do when we want to justify what we do. My stand on faithfulness was very lukewarm which was demonstrated by my behavior, but still I believed very different. I looked into my heart-mirror and realized I had to take a “stand-check” and realign myself. I had sat down where I originally had stood. I was not matching.
Of anything I have ever written this seems to be one that is really checking my conscience the most. It is awakening me to what needs adjusting at the core of me, and not just at the surface. I have grown to love myself and respect about myself; I do not want to lose that. (Side note: It is funny how we fight for the respect of others, and for the love of others, but we are so comfortable with losing the respect and love for ourselves.) I still have many stands to take. As I grow in more understanding things will shift a bit more.
What stand do you think that you need to take? It is time for a “stand-check”. What needs to be realigned? What things don’t match. Are you being honest with others, but lying to yourself? Do you preach love, but hate almost everybody? Are YOU able to trust YOUR own word? It is vital to evaluate where we are standing so that we can live a consistent life with a solid core of values. Consistency is one of those things that allows trust to be built within you, for yourself as well as with others, but I plead that you to give it to yourself first. Be consistent with you. That which you possess that is healthy, can then be shared in a healthy way.