divorced hearts mending

…allow it to happen.


February 2014

Oh Teacher, Teacher!

Sooooooooo cute!


Holding For Who?


Women! Men! Listen! Who are you holding for? Are they worth it? Why are you waiting? Is that person not able to run along side of you? If not, then why are you holding? Again…holding for who?

Many will be able to relate to the desire to have someone. Even if that someone is wearing corrective shoes. Corrective shoes in of themselves is purposed to correct a problem. Ask yourself, what is the problem? Then ask how long are they going to have to wear them? The answers may be deal-breakers. The truth is being with someone who is not necessarily on your level is not bad if you have the right plan or the right person in place. However Please understand that the act of helping someone elevate themselves in life is a noble gesture, but you can’t do the work for them, and you can’t stop your own progress.

There is a rap song that states “If you saw the stairs that I was climbing, then why didn’t you follow?” If you are with someone who is full of potential but lack follow through, consistency or action then you have to drop them off at the corner of “dream” and “hope”. Because in essence that is where their potential is. They talk a good game but have no intention of playing in it. It is great that they have a dream and some hope but they must also have what I call that achievement-drive so that hope and drive can birth greatness in their life, which will in turn be “y’all” lives together.

Again….holding for who? Hold for no one. Keep it moving. When you do, look to the left. Look to the right to see whose there. Is that person with you? It is okay that they may be out of breath. At least it shows their effort to stay in the race with you. If they are not breaking a sweat or even able to keep up, kindly keep going! You can check for injuries later. Never make excuses for the “sideliners”. They are choosing to be there!

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NLT)
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!

Run to win, and run with a person that wants to win also!

A Loaf of Bread


Why are you crying with that loaf of bread under your arms? This is what my mother would ask me. I wanted to respond to her, “This loaf of bread is not what I want! I want the loaf of bread that I see under “her” arm or under “his” arm!” Until I finally realized……that they were crying too.

Each and every thing that we feel like we “lack” would be the “plenty” in someone else’s life. I realize that now. The pain of this major life shift has not only rippled and changed my relationship status, but it has attempted to render headless my future hopes and dreams. What does one do when they wake up in a purple room that was pink when they went to sleep? Try to repaint it? MMMM I don’t really know. But I know that this is what divorce can seem like. One day all was well enough. The next, nothing is good enough.

I could allow that to completely take me out, but then I would have to forget about the loaf of bread under my arms. So let me just take this from under my arms and actually look at it. Upon further inspection my loaf seems to include some good stuff; slices of hope, healing, new experiences, growth, new friendships, God’s promises to me, a dream that is ready for me to possess it, and what I call “one-step-strength”. This divorce was not in my plans but I am determined that it will not be my destruction. Anything that I failed to do, I forgive myself. Anything that has been done to me, I am choosing to forgive. All whom I felt forget me, I forget it and release them. The people waiting for me to come get them from the pain that I was in, I am on my way!

I know their life seems better than yours; but is it really? Look a little closer. Why are they crying with the loaf that you want? Re-evaluate how you see your loaf. Take all the bread out of your package and look at it. What does it seem to be missing? Probably not as much as you think. One more look with God’s eyes and you will perhaps finally be able to see how satisfying your loaf really is. Don’t close your eyes and heart to what is in front of you.

Ecclesiastes 4:4
Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind.