divorced hearts mending

…allow it to happen.


May 2014

Beautiful Yet…Unloved


As I stood in the hallway with my heart breaking I totally understood this person’s pain, and their desire to be loved. The desire to love someone who is just for you. Why can’t you have that? What can’t I have that? “They” attempt to console you while their hands holding are the hands of the person that loves them; all the while your hands grasp at the air. “They” don’t really know how you feel. My bed is empty; yours is filled.

The response from any good friend to another would be, “But you are a beautiful person. Anyone would be lucky to have you! You just have to wait for the right one.” But even as encouraging as these words are, you still feel unloved. As much love as you have to give, you still have no one to give it to.

The pain of being alone is too much to bear at times. I see this pain being played out in various ways that tend to wound the lonely that experiences it. The pain of rejected love wounds at such a high level. We were created to be loved, and to love. Can you stand to be beautiful, but not loved by that “special someone”? Is the love of your family enough? Is the love of your friends enough? What about the love of God, is it enough? These resources of love are often minimized and even ignored.

We don’t hear it enough, but there is love that sustains you from the inside out while keeping the loneliness at bay. That love does indeed belong to God. Maybe His love is not explained enough. God’s love is constant. Because it is constant, you can trust it. You can trust it to be there when you want it, and when you don’t. It was woven into your being at the time of your conception. Until that special man or woman comes into your life, it is a necessity to be rooted in His love. Learn about it. Have something to compare your “special someone’s love” to. It should also be constant and able to be trusted. At any point that you doubt it, get your measuring tape out. Does it measure up?

Know this, beauty does not guaranteed a life without pain. Beautiful things are mistreated all the time. Look at time. We waste it often. Beautiful things are sometimes not loved the way that they should be. That does not mean that the beautiful things stop being beautiful. They still are. Look at nature. Those things maintain their beauty while understanding that the appropriate caregiver of its beauty will appear. So in the meantime be patient in your journey for who God has for you. But your assignment is to become ready for him, or her. I take this to heart, because I have to be patient along with you.

1 John 4:16 (KJV)

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him


Love Is Serious….


A few days ago I turned on my Pandora and something started to capture my attention. What was it? It was the love songs that began to play. Each one that played stimulated my future hopes and dream of the right man who will come into my life. The feelings of passion followed that stimulation. The first one to play was Toni Braxton’s “I Will Never Breathe Free Again”. Then Destiny’s Child’s “Cater to You”. Up next on the rotation was Letoya Luckette’s song “Regret”. Anger set it as I listened to her lyrics. My heart began to break. The intensity of each song all at once became so real. As each artist crooned the lyrics of their hurt, devotion, and hopes of better regarding the one they loved, I suddenly realized how absolutely serious a thing love is. This was my “ah ha” moment. Love is serious!

Then “it” came on. What was it? The song! You know the song that stabs you in the heart with each beat. Well this was the song and it took me back to a moment in time that I would rather forget. The song was Mary J Blige’s “I’m Not Gone Cry”. August of 2012 I was sitting at the light of Highway 6 and Richmond; I blacked out. I instantly felt compelled to turn my car around and drive to where my then husband and his mistress were, and take them both out! God intervened. No sooner than the thought came to me; God’s comfort came equally as quick to let me know “THAT WAS NOT THE ANSWER”. God’s presence was interrupting my thought; it was like a fire extinguisher putting out the 12 alarm fire that was ranging in my heart. At that moment, my “right” mind came back. I took a deep breath and began to breathe again.

When God talks about love it seems to be taken so cavalier, but what I caution you to do is NOT to take God’s love that way. At that moment sitting at Highway Six and Richmond I can testify to you that God’s love for me and the rest of my life that He planned for me, was a very evident as He rerouted my mind that day. It was the love that acknowledged my pain while keeping me for myself.

I understand that the hurt that you have experience at the hand of the one that have handled your love thoughtlessly feels unbearable. I totally get it. Nevertheless I want to remind you that God’s love is even more serious. What will God’s love do for you? His love will keep you when you–aren’t you, His love pushes you forward even when you pull backwards, and its unconditional. It’s more than willingly to guide you into overcoming the devastation regarding the misuse of the love that you have given. Allow Him to restore your love and make it whole again. Sit and talk to God about it. Have a real conversation with Him about it.

Luke 4:18 (KJV) The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised…

God sent aid your way already, yeah He really just did. Be blessed and I love you with the love of Christ. Join me on the journey to a mended heart. Thank you for listening.

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