I remember being at the movies one day and a woman I knew from church that I had not seen in a while came up to me. I knew her from mainly being involved with my daughter but her spirit was so sweet. She was really a nice person. She was just the cutest thing and her husband was nice as well from what I knew. She went on to introduce me to her daughter whom was standing right behind her at the moment and her friend that was with her. I of course asked her which I know now as the dreaded question, “How is your husband?” She looked at me and smiled as she replied, “We are divorced.” I do not remember what I said to her and I am sure that my heart’s intent was good but I am so very, very sure that I sounded like an encouragement infomercial. Spewing all the “right” words and not truly understanding her pain. How are you feeling? I do not remember asking her that. Do you want to hang out sometime? I know I did not ask her that because loneliness is very real! Is there anything that I can do? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no, not that either. I was so self-absorbed and thought my marriage was so air tight that I did not fully understand her pain. I missed her cry.
My point is that I did not understand BEFORE IT HAPPENED TO ME how or what it was like living with a broken heart 24 hours a day. Divorce is like that for a while. Of course you move past it but for a while your heart mourns 24 hours a day. God is constantly nursing it but it is, what it is. It is all a process. The encouragement in that is that I attempt not to miss cries because “it has never happened to me”. My heart is to be there for others in a more sincere and genuine way. I understand living with a “24 Hour Broken Heart” is the result of many different life issues not just divorce. This blog could have easily been about some other type of trauma we experience in life. Unfortunately there is a lot to pick from. This happens to be mine. To much is given, much is required. For all the pain that I have encountered; much healing must happen in me, and must go from me to heal someone else. I asked God to choose me long ago. I still would not change my choice. So I am more aware that pain is coverable. A smile can be a cover up. A cheerful hello can be pre-recorded. Was hers? I probably won’t ever know.
I now understand that people really for the most part do the best they know to do, not necessarily what is best. The time in which the broken heart is felt within a day will lessen. Be encouraged and know that eventually there will be no time for it.