I am guilty of thinking to myself at times what justice would look like for everything that I have had to experience, and each and every person that I have had to experience it from. What would be the perfect VINDICATION for the betrayal? What would be the VINDICATION for the lies and manipulation? What would be the VINDICATION for the hardships?
One of the definitions of VINDICATION means to exonerate from an accusation. This is the one that I want to explore. When my ex said that he wanted to leave me I felt like he was saying, “You were not a good enough wife.” In my mind since, that is the statement that he made by divorcing me, I felt like I had to defend that. The truth is that his decision to divorce me did not mean that. I was a very good wife, however, was I by no means perfect! I was a God-fearing wife who was scarred that she was not good enough some days but knew that my job was to protect him and I did that. The truth is that no matter what the divorce meant and why he did it, I did my absolute best. I left all my prayers for him, efforts, support, time, care, nursing, dedication, and love on the field of that marriage. I do not have not one regret because I did all of that from my heart. You like me, are going to have to be at peace with that.
I can go everyday knowing that and I am so at peace with that. I honestly do not know what VINDICATION is relevant after that. If the only vindication you and I get is the peace of knowing that you gave your all, or that your love was real, that has to be enough. Because if your ex goes on to live this “grand life” would you be able to handle that? Would I be able to handle that? If the only VINDICATION you receive is in the evidence of your life, is that enough? This is not an easy thing to accept, but if you can leave it in the hands of God, you can gain the peace that you need.
By some chance if you did not give your marriage everything you could have, and if there is still time to turn it around, I pray in Jesus name that the other person’s heart is open to your change of heart. If it is “too late” as they say and the both of you have decided that the divorce is best, then accept it and allow healing so you can get the closure that you need. Lastly, if you are the one that did want to fight for your marriage and the other person decided you were no worth it, then know that there is someone who is willing to fight for you. Your worth is not in their desire to fight for you.
Remember I said that VINDICATION means to exonerate from an accusation. Do not allow the divorce to accuse you. The definition then goes on to say that VINDICATION is fact, evidence, circumstance that services to VINDICATE a claim or theory. My claim; I was a great wife and mom, not perfect. The facts; it was shown in the over decade that I stood by his side through every financial hardship, physical challenge, and lack. I kept my promise for better or worse. I am actually proud of that. I was fully committed without a built-in clause. I must understand that exoneration has already happened.
Praise God for perspective!